How to Stop Feeling Mom Guilt

So RichMama’s let me ask you a question – do you feel guilty – like you’re not doing enough for your kids, yourself, your family?  Ugh, mom guilt. It seems to be an integral part of motherhood. Born at the moment of conception, the guilt starts wreaking havoc on your life. Even before the baby is born you start thinking, “I shouldn’t have done this” or “I should have done that.” And once they’re born, forget about it. Every little tear they shed, every little mistake piles up like dirty diapers until you’re overwhelmed by a giant stack of stinky guilt.

Does Mom Guilt Need to Be a Part of Your Life?

It seems some mothers latch onto the mom guilt as a rite of passage. You’re supposed to feel it, right? Well, perhaps not. In most cases, guilt is a rather unproductive emotion. It doesn’t help you accomplish anything. It doesn’t make you or your child a better person. It doesn’t change things.

Think about the last time you felt a bit of guilt. Maybe you snapped at your child or didn’t feed them as many vegetables as you think you should have. What did the guilt accomplish? Did it change the past? Did it magically make you, or your child, feel better? No and no. Let it go!

How to Stop Feeling Mom Guilt

#1 Accept That You’re Not Perfect

Much of the guilt that moms feel stems from the weird need to be perfect – or to think that you’re expected to be perfect. Your mom wasn’t perfect, right? You’re not perfect either and no one really expects you to be.

They do expect you to do your best. However, doing your best doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes. In fact, if you’re trying really hard you’ll probably make many mistakes. Sit back, repeat the mantra, “I’m not perfect and I don’t need to be,” and then relax. You’re going to make mistakes and the world won’t end when you do.

#2 Learn from the Mistake

When you make a mistake, instead of feeling unproductive guilt why not turn it into a productive moment? You can if you learn from the mistake. Assess what happened and why, and then create a plan to avoid making that mistake again. Move onward and upward as they say.

#3 Start Paying Attention to Why You Feel Guilt

Okay, it’s time for an honest moment. It’s time to get in touch with your feelings. When you’re feeling guilty about something, sit down and spend a few quiet moments assessing why. What does the guilt do for you? Why are you choosing to feel guilt instead of some other emotion? Maybe it’s easier to feel guilty than to be angry or frightened.

Guilt seems to be a natural part of motherhood for many. However, it doesn’t have to be. You can have a happier and more productive parenting experience if you learn to let go of guilt.

 

First Day of School

Still feels like summer, except the air is too crisp in the morning, the sky too blue bright.  All across the township, hundreds of moms have let out a sigh of…relief, excitement, sadness as their little (and big) ones get on the bus. First days – of kindergarten, middle school, of another year of life passing by…may it be a good one…

How to Budget – Single Moms Can Make it Work

How to Budget-Budget tips for Single Moms

Single Mom BudgetOne of the most important concerns for a lot of single moms out there is how to budget. Numerous single moms go through a situation of trying to manage a tight budget just to provide continuously for their kids. This can be extremely hard for them, especially when they are facing and doing this on their own, with no partner to help and support them. Learning how to budget can make financial struggles feel like less of a burden.

However, having a good budget is crucial especially when you can almost guarantee some emergencies to happen to you and your family. Learning how to budget can help a single mom learn how they can manage their money better without all the stress and pressure. These tips will help all single moms to establish a household budget:

Learn How to Budget for Your Family

•    Firstly, determine how much money you are getting every month. This is critical when learning how to budget.  Make sure that you include all sources of income that are promptly available to you like pay checks, social security, child support and even dividends on bonds and stocks. Anything that you are sure of coming to you should be part of the budget.

•    Next tip is to list all the expenses by starting with the most vital ones such as rent, car payment, insurance, as well as utilities. You may also include in the top list the groceries and then that is the time you begin with the other expenses like credit cards, incidentals and medical expenses.

•    Carefully look at how much money are coming in versus the money that is going out. Your priority should be the bills because these are the ones that keep you sheltered and keeps food always present on the table. Pay all of those bills out of what you have kept in your budget and take a look of what’s left. This is a key strategy of learning how to budget.

•    Determine the number of non-important bills that you can pay, and pay as many as you can. However, you must rank them in order of priority first, and after that, you can start paying them. If it is hard for you to pay the full amount, or if you need to make some payment arrangements, you can always try to negotiate with the person or office you owe and explain everything.

•    Lastly, take a look at the money that was left. Always keep in mind that unexpected emergencies will always happen, so you do not have to wait for the next pay day because you have extra money for any emergency situation that might occur.

Learn How to Budget – Spend Smart

When learning how to budget make an effort to squeeze in your budget every month until you know it by heart. Maintain trimming off costs here and there, and the money that you will be saving should be directly into your savings fund. Having a budget can help you keep track of where all your money is going, as well as get hold of steps to ensure that all of the money is going to the right places for your kids. How to budget for single moms is extremely important, so it is crucial that you pay attention with your budget. Learning how to budget will help you feel in control of your finances.

Your Questions About Sharing Meal Times

Chris asks…

Meal times?

I have always brought my kids up to sit at the dinner table for their evening meal. Its a time when myself, my husband and the kids can grab some time together …catch up on each others day. Not sit in front of the TV .. grunting at each other..or not even talking at all…I love this time we share as a family.
Agree… or diagree?
WEN1988… I agree we should talk at all times… But I know alot of people who sit in front of the TV at any time of day and do not talk to each other.
If we are watching Tv as a family we have discussions there also.

richmama answers:

I couldn’t agree more!

When I was growing up in the 1960s, most families ate dinner together. Like a scene out of “The Wonder Years,” I can still recall the moms in our close-knit neighborhood, yelling out back doors for their children to come to the table…of course, we kids would agree to meet after dinner for an evening game of tag or to play records, lol.

Dinner was always a special occasion, because my parents made it so. Whether the entree was a simple meatloaf and mashed potatoes, or a full-blown Sunday dinner with all the trimmings, there was always a lot of discussion, laughter, and even debate. My dad might discuss his work…my mom would mention hearing from a distant relative…my older brother would talk about his new-to-him jalopy…my older sister would complain about her latest boyfriend…and I, as the “baby” of the family then in the third grade, would ask questions about fractions and long division, lol.

It was a time to speak out, to listen intently, and to mature. It was a time to learn how to share…not only food…but time and experience.

When my daughter was born, my husband and I carried on the tradition of a family dinner hour. Sometimes, it was difficult for us as a family, as we both had to work full time…and sometimes we didn’t eat until 8 p.m…but SO worth it! Everyone was encouraged to, literally, “bring something to the table”…a current event, a concern, a problem, a reason to celebrate…anything and everything.

Some evenings, we would make it extra fun by doing the unexpected…frying chicken and having an indoor picnic on a blanket on the dining room floor…having a build-your-own taco night and putting dessert (candies) in a homemade pinata, etc.

Most celebrations and family gatherings do involve sharing a meal, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, weddings, and reunions. Family dinners are the perfect opportunity to celebrate the most ordinary of days, each and every day!

Thanks for asking this question and for bringing back a ton of wonderful memories! 🙂

William asks…

What meal-time grace/song do you sing with your preschool students?

I’m looking for a short and sweet meal-time grace for preschool students. For those of you that do say/sing a grace or song prior to meal time maybe you can share it? Thanks!!!

richmama answers:

God is great,
God is good,
and we thank him
for our food.
Amen

There is a song called “Johnny Appleseed” that the kids like to sing. Its a popular song in terms of prayer type songs.

Oh, the Lord is good to me
and so I thank the Lord
for giving me
the things I need
the sun and the rain and the appleseed
the Lord is good to me.
Amen

Michael asks…

Ideas please for Toddler meal times?

Any tried and tested favourite meals that people would like to share. My son is 13 months and we’re just starting to experiment with flavours and textures a little more.

His fav so far is Rice and Beef…

Cook the rice for 7 minutes – add cubed red peppers and frozen peas – continue to cook for 5 minutes until water is absorbed. Meanwhile fry onions, garlic & cubed carrots in oil for a few minutes. Add minced beef and fry until browned. Puree this to make the beef easier to eat. Add a tin of chopped tomatoes and simmer for 10 minutes. Mix the rice and beef and… Voila! Yummy and healthy!

richmama answers:

My daughter daphne paige is 2 when she was your babys age we gave her finger foods, like chicken tenders cut up fine, fruit cocktail, roasted potatoes at dinner time, she was a good eater, but she hates peas just like me lol, but finer foods are good.just cut up fine.

Sharon asks…

How do I get my 9 month old to feed herself?

My daughter eats all solid foods, no jarred baby food at all. She eats with us at all 3 meal times and shares whatever we are having, but WILL NOT feed herself. She opens her mouth, clearly wanting some but wants us to give it to her. If I put it on her high chair and let her try herself, she just plays with it, doesn’t bring it anywhere near her mouth.
How can I encourage her to start feeding herself?

richmama answers:

Put some food on the spoon/fork and leave it in front of her. Sooner or later she’ll figure out she needs to put the food in her mouth herself. Good luck:)

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How to Budget Money For Your Family

How to Budget Money for Your Family

How to budget for your family has always been a difficult task for Moms out there. However these days it seems harder and harder to make ends meet. With rising gas prices, unemployment and overall cost of living to consider, figuring out how to budget money for an entire month, or just a week, can be a challenge for many of us. Thankfully there is help out there. By searching online and going on family based message boards, Blogs and Facebook pages, you can find many wonderful money saving ideas and tips from Moms all over the country. Here are just a few money saving tips that can show you how to budget money for any size family.

How to Budget – Clipping Coupons

The recent success of reality TV shows focusing on extreme couponing has caused coupon clipping to become a new national pastime. But you don’t always have to resort to dumpster diving to find the best coupons for the products your family uses. Many useful and free coupon sites have evolved due to all the recent coupon mania, sites like Groupon give you exclusive info on deals in your specific area. There many more local coupon and discount sites available along with tons of Facebook pages dedicated to saving money with printable coupons and online promo codes. You can save money on everything from eating out to buying groceries to going to a special live event by visiting these pages.

The Sunday newspaper is also full of valuable coupons as it keeps up with the trend. In the past there may have been one or two leaflets with a handful of coupons tucked inside. And if you were lucky one of them may be for 50 cents off a bag of dog food or a similar purchase. These days the Sunday paper is loaded down with so many coupons that some convenience stores can no longer sell their papers out front due to so many people stealing newspapers, just for the coupons. I bought a Sunday paper last weekend for the first time in a while and couldn&39t believe how many coupons were inside, that were actually for items my family uses every day! My suggestion is to get up early and spend a couple bucks on a Sunday paper, you could end up cutting your grocery bill in half by doing so. There are also tons of ways to get extra coupons online by visiting coupon trading sites where people trade out coupons they don&39t use in order to receive coupons for items they do use.

How to Budget – Give the Store Brand Items a Try

They aren’t always as good as the named brand products, I will admit that. But many times I have found that the store brand foods & products taste or work just as good (if not better) than the pricey name brands. Some of the safer food items to test out based on my own experience would be canned food, loafs of bread, hamburger or hot dog buns, sliced cheese, frozen items like vegetables, french fries or boneless chicken breasts and pantry staples like flour, sugar and cornstarch.

When looking at how to budget for your family it makes sense to attack the largest expense you have the most control over – food.