Things Not to Say to Your Kids

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Things Not to Say to Your Kids

If you’re like me, you probably have a list of all the things you swore you would never do as mom – like wear mom jeans, use slang or cook meatloaf.  Well to help you keep that promised here’s a list of things you should never, ever say to your children – now that you know what they are, you can work on figuring out just what you can say.  So if you want to be a HotMama,here’s your list of no-nos:

– “I wish you’d never been born” – No child should ever have to hear their parent make this comment.  Even if you’re the maddest you’ve even been, bite your tongue before you say this.  This will hurt your kids feelings, damage their self esteem and make them feel unwanted – not to mention that they won’t ever forget it.

– “Hurry up or I’ll leave you here.” Little kids don’t have a the same understanding of time that we do.  If you say this to little kids, you can play into their natural fear of getting lost and or abandoned.  Find out why they’re dilly-dallying and find some other way to encourage them.

–  “You never do what I ask you to do.” When you say this over and over, kids get the feeling they can’t do anything right and stop trying.  Instead use this phrase, “I would like you to do this in this way.” Be specific in what you want so they’ll understand and be able to accomplish what you asked.

–  “I wish you were more like your brother/sister.” Kids like to be appreciated for who they are and saying this only makes then feel inadequate and can lead to sibling rivalry. Each of your children needs to be feel loved and recognized for who they are, not how they measure up to their brothers or sisters.  Celebrate their differences and love them for who they are.

– “We can’t afford that.”  Many times, parents say this instead of what they really mean, which is, we can afford it but we don’t need it.  If you make all purchasing decisions strictly about money, kids may begin to think that money can buy happiness.  Or they may become worried that your family is in true financial difficulty even if you’re not. Instead, talking about whether or not to buy something is a good time to reinforce the concept of needs versus wants and family budgeting – how by saying now to something now may allow for the family to enjoy something else more.

All of us say something we don’t mean from time to time.  Si if you do say something you regret, apologize.. Explain that you were wrong, you didn’t mean what you said, you love them and you’ll try not to say it again. Children need to have parents who encourage and build them up, not breakdown down their self-esteem with careless words they don’t mean.

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